Code. Blue.

*Please nobody begin to worry...Evalette is fine.  The code blue was not for us.

Night time at the hospital is quiet.
Well as quiet as a hospital with all its beeping noise can be.
It is the time that I lay my little sweetie to sleep.
Tuck her between her special blankets
and kiss her as she drifts off to sleep.
Oh wonderful sleep.
Then I sneak away.
I can't sleep.
There is no way
that I am going to lay down  on that
so called couch,
"rock hard couch" that is,
until I absolutely have to.
And there is no way that I can sit in the room with baby.
She is too light of a sleeper.
I guess I am to blame...she got it from me.
So I wonder off.
Usually I find myself in the family consultation room
catching up on bills,
checking up on family things,
doing insurance paper work,
reading,
blogging of course, and
having late night talks with my one and only.
And then sometimes I wonder out to the family room outside of the unit.
I watch people as they go by,
try to get a glimpse into their lives, and understand who they might be.
Last night was no different,
I found myself in the family room watching the doctors sped by
as if they had something so important to do and
families coming and going.
I sat, lost in my needless thoughts when the alarm rang.
CODE BLUE,
CODE BLUE
it blared.
My heart jumped and
then it began to race.
CODE BLUE,
third floor ROOM #3061.
My heart stopped.
My friends,
my dear friends that I had just met in the unit a couple of weeks ago,
they had just been moved down there.
Their little Eli was in critical condition.
"Not Eli, please not little Eli",
I pleaded silently to heaven.
The doctors suddenly appeared,
running, racing, and ready to help the child in need.
I waited and waited but the code was not cleared.
So I prayed more.
"Bless Eli, bless Liz and Logan, his parents.
Bless whoever is in need at this moment.
Bless them with peace."
I was so overcome with a great deal of sadness for whomever was experiencing this ordeal.
I couldn't imagine.
Yes, my child was sick,
but yet my child was safe in her bed.
Breathing,
heart beating,
alive,
and well.
She was stable.
And she is doing fantastically well.
Suddenly I was so grateful.
So grateful to have only of been given the trial of having "the best childhood cancer"
I guess you could say.
A cancer that is curable.
A cancer that is beatable.
A cancer that can have nasty complications and side effects,
but still a cancer that babies miraculously do well with.
A cancer that will not necessarily claim the life of my sweet child.
How did I get so lucky.
How did I get so blessed.
I thanked my Heavenly Father
for allowing my more time here on earth with my daughter.
For sparing her life.
That she was still sleeping, tucked away in her favorite blankets.
Safe, warm, and alive.
Then I prayed again for that family who was watching their child struggle to live.
I prayed that if it could be so that their child could live also.
I went to bed soon after that.
Still shaking with the realization of how fragile life really is.
I couldn't sleep so I prayed more.
I prayed especially for Eli, Liz, and Logan.
Finally I fell asleep.
The first thing upon waking up, I was determined to find Liz and Logan.
I needed to know if all was well.
Sure enough, they were in the parents lounge.
All had to be well.
They were there.
I told them that I had been so worried when I heard the CODE BLUE.
Liz laughed and said, "Did you hear the first or second one?"
Come to find out,
little Eli did CODE last night.
But he wasn't the first call at 10:30 pm that I had heard.
His came later at 2:30 am.
He had had a blood clot,
but though the skill of good doctors,
they got the clot before it went to his heart.
A very close call but his life had been spared.
Liz and I hugged.
I was so grateful,
so relieved,
so glad that little Eli had been given more time
and that I had prayed in his behalf shortly before the code was called.
Being here my eyes have been opened to a new world.
A world where life has new meaning.
Where the physical and monetary things of the world matter little.
For much more is at stake.
Truly family is the most important thing.
Let us pray for the family's who's special sweethearts are being called home
and let us pray for the little sweethearts who are still fighting hard.
They will find strength from our prayers.
To little Eli and his family, you guys amaze me with your strength.
Keep fighting.


It seems that after Evalette's diagnosis
every time I see a helicopter fly over head,
hear the sirens of the ambulance,
or the blare of the CODE BLUE alarm,
my heart stops.
I pray and pray for the family being affected.
For I have been in those shoes and
know how it feels to feel helpless and
lost.
I know how it feels
to surrender your child to God
and ask him
and beg him
to spare your child's life.
And I now understand that no matter what
that HE will bring you peace.
For HE truly is over all and loves us all.
He is our ever loving father.
He has his arms open wide,
welcoming all who are called home early.
Those strong little ones.
Truly they are amazing.
I thank God everyday for my precious daughter
and for the time I have with her here on this earth.