Call me crazy for I might just be,
as it is 1:30 am,
and I do have to be up in less than 6 hours,
and my little sweet 11 month old might give me less sleep than that...
but I just had to post tonight.
A couple of days ago, my good friend Stevie posted on FB that her cousin's
son was recently diagnosed with ALL cancer. UGH...it broke my heart. This little boy
is the cutest little boy with a smile that melts your heart. He seems to be only 4 or 5. Seriously way too young to be going through this. My heart broke and I have thought a lot about his family since then. I have followed their updates on this little boy and all seems to be going well, but I understand too well the emotional, physical, and mental strain that is bearing down on their little family as they start to tread these new waters of childhood cancer. I say again, UGH, UGH, UGH...my heart goes out to them.
Someone (an old ward friend of mine that also happens to know this family) mentioned on their FB page for their son that they knew me and my child had had cancer years ago and then linked them to my blog. This sweet friend said my blog was inspirational. What a kind comment and I truly hope that it is inspiring for those that read it as it was my way of letting go, finding peace, and keeping up my faith as we went through our trail of childhood cancer. I couldn't help but click on the link and go to my blog. I went through each post clear from the start to the latest post.
I sobbed.
I cried.
I wept.
Tear of old pain.
Tears of old sorrow.
Tears of old frustrations.
Tears of hope.
Tears of gladness.
Tears of seeing miracles.
Tears of having good friends.
Tears and tears and more tears.
Ugh, I haven't ugly cried in a long time.
But reading this blog, brought back so many memories.
Things I had pushed way back in my mind.
Experiences and stories that had been tucked away.
From a story that began with confusion and tears that ended in joy and tears!
I am so glad that I documented and wrote down our good and bad times.
This experience has made me a better person.
After spending an hour or so reading, I crept down to Evalette's room.
She is sleeping so peacefully.
She still has some side effects from the chemo...
she has night sweats,
she is eating better, but still has food aversions,
she catches every little sick bug that comes her way
and hangs onto it for a long time,
she is still taking naps most days as she gets pretty tired and worn out,
her legs still hurt sometimes,
and she doesn't have as much stamina as her siblings, but now just over 4 years later
she is strong and each day that goes by she gets stronger.
She hiked up to the "Y" yesterday.
There and back (2.44 miles of super steep mountain switches).
I was so proud and she was so proud.
But it did wipe her out-
she slept until 10 this morning and took over a three hour nap this afternoon.
She is a feisty pants and gets pretty set on getting things her way.
She is stubborn and lets you know when something isn't exactly right, but
she is a sweet light of happiness.
She insists on hugging each one of her siblings before bed each night and cannot
sleep unless she does so.
She still loves for me to sing to her every night and so I do.
She still loves to snuggle next to me in my bed when we occasionally takes naps together and she loves to brush my hair, rub my back, snuggle into my arms. And then she sighs contently as I do the same for her.
She tells me how beautiful I am and how much she loves me on a daily basis.
She is our living miracle.
I don't know if she will ever know how much she impacted my life for the better.
How her journey has made me grow into a better, stronger, more positive person.
I will be forever grateful that she is mine.
So I tuck her in, kiss her cheek, and she mumbles something in her sleep.
Sleep well, little girl.
Sleep well.
So I think of this dear little boy and his family right now.
I pray for peace for them.
I pray for angels to guard and watch over them.
I pray for good friends and family to lift them up.
I pray for good doctors to be wise in their care of this boy.
I pray that they may see the light in the darkness, the joy in the pain,
the good in the bad, and feel peace amidst the sorrow.
All my heart and love goes out to them.
So pray for McKade tonight and for his family because right now I am sure the road ahead seems daunting and long, but my prayer for them is that they will know that along that long road that seems so dark right now, they will never be alone!
