Today

Can I tell you a story...an end of a chapter you could say. 
 Let me begin by saying, "We are doing very well".
We love it here in Santaquin.
Life at this moment is full of soccer, lots of boy stuff, a few girl things (lots of nail polish), summer fun, and sweet days.
It is wonderful, busy, and sometimes crazy!
 I must attract all things primary (which I don't mind) because once again I am in the primary presidency in our current ward.
It is a wonderful calling and I learn so much in primary.
This month, I am in charge of sharing time.  The topic is miracles-  Jesus Christ has Power over the Earth.  If I could talk about anything in the world it would be about miracles.  Miracles are real and they happen all around us all the time.
This week, I talked with the children about opening our eyes and noticing the miracles around us; to start a "Miracle Journal", a recording of the wonderful amazing things happening around us, to ourselves and others. As I was preparing, I was reading back on this blog as I wanted to share a few miracles from it.  I realized that this blog was just that- a miracle journal.  It is full of God's love, his works, and his miracles.  It was the turning point in our life that made us better.  But the biggest miracle of the story was missing- the ending.
 Suddenly I had the thought that it was finally time to share; to share the ending of the story- the part about the biggest miracle of all in Evalette's cancer journey.  At the time the miracle was unfolding I hesitated to share.  It was special, sacred, and so amazing that I didn't know how to even share it.  And we didn't exactly know the ending yet after all the decisions were made.
But now we do and now I need to share;
for my daughter, for my family, and for anyone wanting to know if miracles are real.

The beginning of the chapter was our daughter getting sick.
A month of questions, finally a few doctors appointments, then a hospital visit, a life flight, and a scary stay in the ICU at another hospital were the events that started it all.
 As you have read this blog and/or have been involved in our little Evalette's journey, you know the bulk of this chapter in her life, her cancer story- steroids, chemo, late long nights, tears, hugs, nurses, home health, rescue meds, surgery, bone marrow aspirations, helping hands, friends, love, and prayers.
 So much more involved, but our life did go on.  It was hard, it was different, it was not what we expected.
March 2013, then summer 2013 and finally fall 2013.  I remember hurting, aching inside.  I remember begging God that if there was another way then to help me find it and to save my daughter from years of this horrible chemo journey. We had another two years of chemo and it was almost more then I could bear.   In late August, she was dying.  Now nobody told me that, but in my heart I knew it.  The chemo was so hard on her, too hard on her.  It was killing her.  She was so sick, so weak, and losing the will to live.  It is hard to explain, but as her mother and her care giver I knew.  I was heartbroken; my little baby was struggling to live, my boys at home being raised without me, my husband was working hard so we could have insurance and money to pay the bills, and all because even though Evalette was in remission, the doctors insisted that we needed to do more chemo and push her little body to the limit to make sure the cancer didn't come back.  We were a study, a guess, a hope.  No firm data, just that 2 1/2 years of chemo seemed like it did the trick in order to get her "cured".  There had to be another way.  So I asked and begged in fervent prayer to my Father in Heaven to provide another way.
 I had the thought to share my concerns with James.  I was nervous.  I didn't sleep well at the hospital for days.  I was depressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated.  I didn't know what to tell James.  Finally, I talked with him on the phone and mentioned my prayers to God and my feelings.  Surprisingly he had the same concerns.  We decided we would pray and figure out what the next step would be.  I talked with my mom and sister and interestingly enough, my dad, my mom, and my sister had had similar thoughts; the chemo was killing her.  Then later that week, James' mom had called and said that Elder Clayton of the Seventy, who she works for, asked about Evalette, and said that he felt strongly that her name needed to be added to the First Presidency Prayer Roll.  That week, my Evalette's name was prayed over by our Living Prophet and his counselors.  I felt so loved and knew that God was hearing my prayers.
 James and I decided that we needed to talk with Evalette's doctor and voice our concerns and ask what our options were.  Before the appointment we had with Evalette's doctor, I prayed that her doctor's heart would be open, that she would be willing to hear what we had to say, and understand our good intentions, our deep concerns, and the most of all the good desires of well being for our daughter.  The meeting went very well and we were told that after this phase of chemo was over, we could take a break and decide what we wanted to do from there.  She insisted that they wanted us to move forward with the original plan after an extended break, but was willing to hear what we wanted to do.  What a blessing this was.  I remember feeling such gratitude and love for Dr. Wright and her kindness to us; she was meant to be our doctor.  She is the only doctor I know of in the oncology department that was so open and willing to hear patients concerns.  It was no coincidence or by chance, God had placed her as our doctor.  She was the one on call as we came into the ICU on that long night of March 27 with a diagnosis of Infant ALL.  Thus she became our doctor as she was the first to see our case.  She was meant to be our doctor and for that I am forever grateful!
 After Evalette's rough phase of Methotrexate (evil mustard gas), we were sent home.  We were to make the choice of a small break and then starting up where we left off, or starting at a less hard phase with out-patient chemo that would last a year.  I didn't feel peace, James didn't feel peace, and we didn't know what to do.  Back in the hospital I remembered the impression I had had that if I didn't follow the prompting of the spirit, Evalette would die, not from cancer but from the chemotherapy.  I couldn't shake that thought of the recent impression I had had.  James and I both knew that further chemotherapy was not an option, none at all.  She was in God's great hands.  We phoned her doctors and it was a difficult call to make.   They could have told us that we had no choice.  Evalette is a minor and by law, if the doctors told us that we had to do chemo based on certain data and facts, we would have had to or possibly end up losing our daughter and possibly other kids to the state.  But once again, a miracle occurred our doctors said it was our choice. There was no for sure data to prove that 2 1/2 years of chemo would cure Evalette, only a guess or a 5-10% chance.   They wanted us to do "the plan", but untimely, amazingly it was up to us.  We explained that we would no longer have her in chemotherapy, but we appreciated all that they had done and that we would involve them in her checkups.  They asked that she be brought in monthly for bone aspirations to see if she had relapsed after we stopped the chemo and to be prepared that this would most likely happen, Evalette would relapse if we stopped chemo.  We agreed and a date was set that we would sign papers, taking her out of chemo.
The day arrived and we sat at the end of a long table with a bunch of doctors on either side.  James and I stood firm to our decision.  We were told that the hospital board thought that we were incompetent and didn't understand what we were doing.  Dr. Wright told them that we were very smart and had done tons of research, which we had, and that we knew the consequences of our actions.  Miraculously the ok was given.  We signed a paper stating the we were most likely killing our daughter (no joke) and that we were solely responsible when this occurred.  Before we left, our resident doctor wanted to know something.  She wanted to know why.  We tried to explain that it was just something we had to do, a feeling in our heart, something God was telling us to do, that it was time to be done with chemo.  She was cured and we were choosing to trust in God.  That is all we knew.  She wasn't happy, but Dr. Wright was supportive and she had no choice to let us go, although she disagreed.
Oct 2013, surgery was scheduled to take out her port (something she would no longer need), an echo and a bone aspiration were also on the check list.  We needed to know if she was still in remission before her journey of no chemo began.  Her heart looked great and she was still in remission!  Nov and Dec came and clean bills of health did too.  2014 started out well and we convinced them to let us go up to Primary Children's every other month.  Each visit they were amazed- "Evalette looks well",  "She is gaining weight", "Everything looks good.", where the things we heard.  But we weren't surprised, God had healed her.  We knew she was cured.  Through his miraculous power, by the way of good doctors that he had put in our path, modern medicine, priesthood blessings, and then finally just his will that she had been healed all because of HIM.  I knew that Evalette was here to show that miracles happen.  God has power to the earth.  He can do anything.
April came and so did her 2nd birthday.  We celebrated her 1 year remission mark and her life.  It was amazing.
Now another year has gone by and we are still cancer free.  Despite the concerns and naysayers Evalette is still in remission.  We still see her doctors regularly and do blood tests. But she is a happy, spunky, healthy, vibrate girl.  I am so grateful God gave us another way and that we listened.   This is the end of this chapter in her story of life.  This is what brings us to the breathing, walking, talking, beautiful miracle she is today.
But that is the amazing thing....we are all miracles.
From birth throughout our entire life, God works miracles on us.
Through forgiveness, love, and sending us angels to guide and direct.
Through his gift of the Holy Ghost, through times of sickness, times of stress, times of peace,
God is always working his miracles on us.
We are all MIRACLES.
Just some are easier to see and notice then others.


In the April 2015 General Conference, Bishop Gerald Causse said,
     "My wife and I had the great joy of rearing our five children near the magnificent city of Paris. During those years we wanted to offer them rich opportunities to discover the marvelous things of this world. Each summer, our family took long trips to visit the most significant monuments, historic sites, and natural wonders of Europe. Finally, after spending 22 years in the Paris area, we were getting ready to move. I still remember the day when my children came to me and said, “Dad, it’s absolutely shameful! We’ve lived here all our lives, and we have never been to the Eiffel Tower!”
    "There are so many wonders in this world. However, sometimes when we have them constantly before our eyes, we take them for granted. We look, but we don’t really see; we hear, but we don’t really listen."
 
I hope we can open our eyes to see more and open our ears to hear more of the great many miracles and beautiful things of God all around us.  Thank you for sharing this chapter, this journey with us, and witnessing the miracles.  Much love to you all!