Tuesday...

Moniters humming,
lights low,
murmurs of conversation outside our door,
low music singing us a lullaby,
sweet baby sleeping,  and
mommy wide awake.
Thoughts swirling through my head.
When things get quiet, is when I begin to think, pray, and ponder.
Usually I press forward with positive thoughts,
but right now, I am allowing myself to rewind back.
Back to Tuesday.
Back to that perfect day.
The sun was out.
It was a normal day.
Me making dinner,
the boys camping out in the backyard-
literally, they had their whole bedroom out there.
Evalette sleeping as she had been doing so much lately.
Daddy home helping out.
All was well.
Baby was a little sick, but happy as ever.
She was always happy.
Never cried.
Oh precious angel.
She woke up.
We all went outside.
She laughed at her brothers, being their crazy selves.
They of course loved her enthusiasm and made her laugh more.
Oh how they adore her.
And that is where I want to push the pause button.
Please someone find me a remote.
Tell me how to go back to Tuesday.
But I know that tomorrow always comes.
Tuesday couldn't stay forever.
We were supposed to move forward to Wednesday.
The day that changed our precious world forever.
We promised to fight this fight before we even came to this earth.
But knowing this sometimes doesn't make it easy.
So for tonight I will go to bed dreaming of Tuesday.
Oh that blessed day.